Why are hospitals so bloody hot?

Anyone?...

Gold card abuse

I have become a second class citizen on the tube. Why? Well, put simply because I do not have an oyster card. 

I do, however, have an absurdly expensive piece of paper called a 'gold' card but apparently this is not worth the paper it is printed on. 

My 'gold' card breaks on a regular basis, I need a new one at least once a month. You can't put it near your phone, your credit card, your ipod, infact it needs to be stored in complete isolation it seems if you want it to last more than a week. When it is not working you have to enter a plea with the officious gate keeper to let you through the barriers. 

This usually involves a minute of them ignoring me, a minute of them asking me 'what's wrong with it', a minute of me going 'er, it's broken', a minute of them going 'doesn't it work then?', (cue raised eyebrows on my part) a minute of them saying 'you should get an oyster card', a minute of me explaining 'i can't because the stupid bloody train companies don't accept them', a minute of them staring blankly at you and then a minute of them jangling their keys making as much of a fuss as possible letting you through. 

In which time your tube will have come and gone and the next one won't be for another 11 minutes because there is 'a good service on the piccadilly line this evening'. I don't think so.

i-phlirting...

Sit on the tube next to a creative looking type. Get out your iphone. Within seconds (if you have chosen your candidate wisely) your neighbour will have produced their iphone from their pocket to announce themselves as a possible suitor. Try it.

Procrastination...

...is quite exhausting. 

What is the point of compliment slips?

There is NO point. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.